On December 24th, 2001 I brought my son Gibson into the world. It was a medicated interfered with hospital birth that left me with the distinct impression that many medical professionals just had no idea what they were doing when it came to pregnancy and childbirth.  When I became pregnant the second time I decided I was absolutely not going to a hospital unless there was an actual emergency or specific medical reason. Instead I opted to have a home birth with midwives present.

My midwife Marie and I spent several months meeting and talking about babies, birth stories, different expectations people have about birth, my expectations, watching videos and reading books. I really wanted this birth to be totally different than Gibson’s, I knew it would be to a certain extent anyway but I was trying really hard to be as mellow and relaxed about the upcoming day as possible. I totally wanted to have a birth like those women in birth videos that seem so focused and calm, barely making a sound, just concentrating on that singular moment of their new child coming.

As the estimated due date got closer I definitely started to feel some pressure, mostly from other people who kept asking me when the baby was coming, had I spoken to my doctor and even, was I going to have a C-section soon. My due date changed, or I should say, I was going by the wrong date so it seemed like I was pregnant forever. Toward the end of the pregnancy I started having contractions regularly but they didn’t amount to much, 10 in the morning, 5 in the evening, none the next day. Even I was starting to wonder if the baby would ever come. Then one day I had them the entire day, nothing huge or particularly strong or long but consistent and I thought to myself, “okay, things are starting to pick up a little.”

The next morning, September 23, 2007 I woke up at 5 am to go to the bathroom and had a small gush of water followed by a bloody mucus plug. I knew this meant that it was time. I tried to stay nice and relaxed. With my son it was about 18 hours between the time when I passed my mucus and the time he was born, I figured there was no need to get too excited. I thought I would rest some more, then have breakfast, then call Marie and let her know that labor was starting. I felt the first contraction about 20 minutes later.

I rested in bed for a while longer and decided to get up and eat. I woke my husband up and told him my water broke but to go back to sleep. I went downstairs and made a fruit smoothie and some toast with avocado. By this time my husband and son were up. I decided to go for a walk to see if I could get things going. I was having contractions about every 5 to 15 minutes. I didn’t look at the clock because I felt like my first birth was so run by numbers, counting contractions, their length, watching fetal monitors, everything was about the clock, so this time I had told everyone, no clocks, no counting, I didn’t want to know.

The contractions were pretty strong; I thought to myself, wow 10 more hours of this, it’s going to be a long day. I went for a walk on our street, probably a kilometer in total. I remember a contraction coming as I was walking up hill and how that seemed to relieve the sensation. I thought the stairs in our house would be good for that too. I headed back home so I could call Marie and start getting ready.
I called Marie at about 7:30 and left a message on her cellular and at her home. I wasn’t worried because I figured we had all day so I started getting some things together, I thought about filling the pool but then thought we should wait. I wanted to walk more but not outside so I went upstairs and walked the length of the house. The contractions were getting really intense but there was still a pretty long gap between them and they weren’t very long, maybe 10 seconds. I started to make noise when they came; I remembered what Marie and her partner Rebecca had told me about making sounds during labor to keep everything open. I started to use the word “down” as a mantra or chant. When a contraction would start I would breathe through it while saying the word “down” really low and slowly through the duration. It was really helpful and felt good. I tried to visualize images of things moving down and being open.

The contractions were getting really strong and I was thinking to myself that this was going to be a long, painful labor. My son kept bringing me bottles of water and then the exercise ball to see if it would help me be more comfortable. I tried the ball but I wasn’t comfortable sitting when a contraction came. I tried to lie down and rest but was super uncomfortable when a contraction came. The only thing that seemed to help was to kind of stand/half squat while rocking, kind of a rocking lunge. Gibson did this with me; he told me how he did this exercise at school before they played football. Finally I think the noises got to him a little and he disappeared back downstairs. I was starting to feel like I wanted to be alone so I didn’t mind.

At some point I decided I had to take a shower. I got some clothes together and headed to the downstairs bathroom. That bathroom has a nice big shower with no tub so it’s perfect for pacing around in. I got into the shower and it felt great. I was so happy to be under the water. Now the contractions were getting more intense and closer together but there was still a pause in between of about 20 or 30 seconds. I asked my husband to call Marie again; he said she was heading over. I remember the gardeners were mowing the lawn outside and I liked that the noise from the mowers drowned out everything else. This was also a good thing because by this point I wasn’t just moaning the word “down” through the contractions; I was yelling the word. I was making crazy noises that probably would have scared anyone who didn’t know I was having a baby, so much for quiet concentration.

Now when a contraction came I was thinking that this was going to be serious labor, I was still in the mind set that I had hours and hours left to go and it was going to hurt, a lot. There was one moment in which I distinctly remember thinking to myself, I want to go to the hospital and get drugs. Almost immediately after having this thought I felt something shift inside me. I felt that the baby was coming now; I could feel her head traveling through my cervix, really low. My mind said it was impossible; it was too soon, the contractions weren’t on top of each other or very long and this just couldn’t be possible yet. My body started telling me to push but I didn’t, I just couldn’t need to push yet but I could feel her head coming. Finally after a couple contractions I pushed, just a little, at the end to see what would happen. I felt her head move a lot and it also totally relieved the intensity of the contraction. During the pause afterward I felt complete euphoria, the endorphins were really strong, and that was just with a little push. During the pause I thought, okay, this is happening now, go with it, push. When the next contraction came and I felt the urge to push I did. I felt the head crowning but when I stopped pushing she moved back. I thought, “oh no, not now, you can’t go back in.”

The next 2 contractions brought the baby right to the ring of fire and this was when I had to try and concentrate. Marie and I had recently watched a video of an unassisted birth of twins and I remembered the mother saying “gentle, gentle” when the babies were coming though so I did the same thing, it still totally burned to feel the stretching but it helped me focus through it. At this point I reached down and could feel the babies head half out of me, it was really amazing to feel her soft head almost free. The next contraction came and I got ready to push but again I needed to concentrate. After watching several birth videos over the last month I was thinking that I needed to go slowly so I could un-wrap the cord from the baby’s neck if necessary. I thought it would take a few pushed to get her out the rest of the way.  I put my hand under her head. As soon as I pushed a little to get her head to clear she just shot right out; it was like a sploosh followed by a splash of fluid. Luckily I somehow had my other hand under her body. I honestly can’t remember if she was posterior or not, it was a blur but I remember looking at her and thinking how powerful the experience was making me feel.

I said her name, Susennah, and started to laugh out loud, not because I thought it was funny but because it was a little bit unbelievable. I turned her face down to clear her airway of any amniotic fluid and when I saw it bubbling out of her mouth I said her name again and tickled her a little bit. Her first cry was short and sounded like a little goat. I held her close to my belly; I was nervous about how much slack there was on the cord and didn’t want to inadvertently yank the placenta or her belly button. I felt really lucky to have those first few minutes totally alone with her. I introduced myself to her and just held her close to me.

I called my husband to come; he was getting me another bottle of water and thought that I was being anxious; he was not expecting to see his daughter when he opened the bathroom door. He called our son who was really excited to see his sister and then he called Marie who was just a few minutes away. Next, he got towels and my robe and helped me onto the bed in the guest room which we had set up as the birthing room.

Marie arrived and surveyed the situation. She helped me pass the placenta and we inspected it. Jolon cut the cord after it stopped pulsing and he and Gibson planted it under a tree. Marie gave me 2 stitches, the episiotomy from my first birth opened up, and a clean bill of health for the baby. I was really lucky to find a midwife like Marie to help me prepare for the birth, her support and knowledge made it possible for me to birth unassisted, though unexpected, without fear.  All in all the labor and delivery took about 4.5 hours; we never even filled up the birth pool.

Susennah Alecia Bankey was born at 9:30 am Sunday September 23, 2007 in La Guacima de Alejuela Costa Rica. She weighed 7.5 lbs and had a perfectly round head.